moods

i'm in a good mood every day
i tell myself that in the mirror in the morning
and i smile, and laugh at one of my jokes
and then put on some happy music
it may sound silly, but i think it works
sometimes i cry a little and then i cheer myself up
and say that's ok, you're beautiful, people like you
and today's going to be a better day than yesterday

knows

I don't know
how small I am
or even how much
love I have
I couldn't say
where I will be
tomorrow
or a year from now
I know I'm good
I know I'm bright
I know I kiss
with eyes shut tight
I don't know what
the future holds
but it won't be you

When confronted with my desires
I shrink away.
Given support I inch out
and it's not so nerve wracking.
Discussion helped a lot
and now I see potential
where I had foreseen disappointments
and shame.

Now I can't wait
but waiting adds to the desire

Let it build!

travel through time and space
travel through childish hopes and dreams
travel into adult ideals and expectations
may your travels teach you
wonderful things

Believe
when things look dark
when doubt gets overwhelming
when guilt is gluing you down

Believe
that there are people who love you
that help is on the way
that someone is looking out for you

Today, I believed.

end

ends just always seem so fast
—though i suppose it was slow,
and painful.
you just watched the horizon,
waiting for the rain,
sailed through one empty day at a time,
just riding it out til the sand

you try to rip the bandage off,
make it over quick,
but even when you do it right
it takes part of you away;
it takes that way she used to smile,
it takes her peace,
it takes her touch.

and you find that song to listen to
repeating how it feels
to go through all this life,
to go through all the ended dreams
and wind up where you began
slowly taking back your heart
and getting back to fine

i hardly notice that you're not there

i hardly notice that you're not there
sometimes it feels i've been at this for years
i cry, i do, but not for as long
i cry, brush my teeth, and keep moving on
i wonder what made you became such a thing
how you convinced me that all this was me
i sigh, i do, but not quite as heavily
i sigh, pick my phone up, and reach out to somebody
it seems i knew that all this was coming
i can pick out the timeline and watch how you shunned me
i look, i do, but only for moments
i look, look outside, and think of what's coming
if you're not careful, life is enough
and stagnance, and blue eyes that just don't flame up
i know, i do, that you aren't around
i know, start a daydream, and then dream of living