Circular arguements, again

You complain that I take on tasks not asked of me
tasks I assumed from you.
Yet if I don't do them
they won't get completed.

Should I leave the task alone
and let you AND me suffer the consequences
of a task undone and unnoticed
and will that magically make you notice this task?

Is this like training adult puppies?
Can you train them?
Or do you abandon them to their wiles
and just move on?

fear and damages

you moved yourself on
in a cowardly way
your selfishness proven
and boyhood prevailed
today rushed a fear
i hope is not founded
that again in the future
i must cut you away
i'd hoped you were gone,
after all.

Jean pt. 1 Todays

I left work this afternoon feeling young and spry; I wanted my boyfriend to come play with me...I was eager to go home to laugh with my roommates...

But then,

Today after work I went to volunteer
for a wonderful lady having a hard time
and help her struggle on

Today I plugged in an electrical blanket
and laid it across her cold feet
and held her hand while she cried

Today she hid in blankets
too embarrassed to look at me
while I cleaned her waste and garbage

Today felt like time was going too fast for me
too slow for her
and wished to fast forward to a better month

a better today

morning

i was dreaming of you
and you were all the men i'd loved
and you were sleeping in the room
a room i've never been in before
i was going through photographs in the window
light coming down and bouncing off the dust in a way
that makes you think of memories
and i found a picture of you in front of a large building
steps climbing up in the background
i pulled it out and set it on the shelf
and finished packing my things
to go before you woke up

who will take my picture now?

bits and specs

I have bits and specs all over the floor.
They come from various parts of my life;
seeds from feeding the cockatiel
rubber bits from indoor soccer
sand from walking around a lake
something undefined from cleaning garages
dirt from potting plants

Looks like I had a good weekend
and perhaps
I should vacuum...

A little nyah nyah reminder from Alanis M. to fit the mood...

And I'm here, to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair, to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know

You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me, Mr. Duplicity?
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face
How quickly I was replaced
And are you thinking of me when you f... her?

'Cause the joke that you laid in the bed
That was me and I'm not gonna fade
As soon as you close your eyes, and you know it
And every time I scratch my nails
Down someone else's back I hope you feel it
Well, can you feel it?

Adrift

Samurai cast adrift
without guidance, roof or food
left to wander as the decadence wans.
Trained in a formal path
for generations,
now barely on the deer trail as the traditions
no longer account
for modern politics
science and
sensibilities.
There is no work, now, pale samurai
no food.
How are you to bring honor to your parents?
Bring food to your family?
Have a family?
You have been told what was to happen
what you should do
family and work and pride
as it has been for generations -
where is it now?

~Ronin