i keep trying to write but
all i have are
vicodin-infused dreams
of leaving you again
empty ramblings and
god i miss being in love
i miss feeling at home
i miss saying your name
i have no names to say
the ones on my mind are
ones i can't have
and they fade, they fade
you fade too
everything is empty
even if i'm not lonely
and i'm realizing
just because it ended
because it ended badly
doesn't mean it wasn't a success
it worked for years
and my focus is the failure
i will have to climb through
to get to another win
i'm not even afraid
i know i'm beautiful
i know i'm desirish
it's just gonna take time
waiting here at the starting line
figuring out how
to run the race
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